Moving on

This September all of my children will have another life besides me.  Three will be in full-time education and my youngest will be at playschool.  As they step into the new school year, I wonder what it means for me.

With so much time alone, I will be able to focus on my studies.  But many people assume I will return to work as I always have in the past.  My previous employer moved from Clevedon to Bristol and after childcare, travelling and loss of benefits I would be lucky to break even.

So why do I feel guilty for deciding to stay at home and study?  I want to do something spectacular with my future as well as provide for my family.  I worry that Mr Minty feels under pressure as sole provider, and my children suffer as money doesn’t go far.

I try to reconcile it by telling myself when I get published/complete my degree/get a good job, I can make it up to them.   I try to ignore the ‘what if’ voice in the background.   I know one day I will have to return to work and the majority of opportunities locally are waitressing or supermarket based.

As long as I am supported by my loving husband and wonderful children, I will continue my studies and nurture my ambition.  I hope my children gain some insight into the value of education and they make the most of the opportunities they have now, instead of taking 20 years to realise it like I have.

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One thought on “Moving on

  1. I liked your post and can identify with it having returned to study in my 40s. You clearly value the opportunity to study and I hope your ambitions remain strong. If it is true that our children learn by example then you are providing them will valuable learning opportunities through your own learning and dedication. I wish I had had the opportunity to study when I was younger, and that’s an important thought to be able to pass on to our kids.

    Jacqueline

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