Writers are often eccentric and a little crazy – which is why I’m convinced I am a writer. So why is it so hard to write anything? I have an extension for my first assignment and my NaNoWriMo count hasn’t reached 700 words.
It’s hard to explain how I am feeling. I miss my mum but I really want to move on. It’s not that I want to forget her; I just want to erase the last 10 years. My favourite photo of her was her 50th birthday party and she has a big smile on her face. That is how I want to remember her.
The thing with bereavement is that it’s hard to think of anything else. With each stage, there is a new obstacle. My current one being unable to write about anything except funerals and misery. I’m even doing it without realising it.
I am told that this is normal even if it is frustrating. So I am allowing myself those little wobbles and using the moments of clarity to write. Sometimes I only manage five minutes, today I have managed 30 minutes and it feels great.